Aerie: A Messengers Tale

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They ask the friends, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, to report back to the King and Queen with any information they can gather, and Gertrude lets them know they'll be rewarded for their efforts. Apparently, spying on your children is the thing to do around Denmark. Guildenstern and Rosencrantz agree to snoop around—for Hamlet's benefit, of course Gertrude and Claudius dismiss them and a few attendants take them away to see Hamlet. My news shall be the fruit to that great feast. Speaking of people who spy on their children, Polonius enters. He claims he has found the source of Hamlet's madness, but first, the King really ought to meet his ambassadors.

Claudius agrees to see the ambassadors first, but can't resist telling Gertrude that Polonius has figured out what's bugging Hamlet. Gertrude is pretty sure it's the obvious: the fact that Hamlet's dad just died and that she and Claudius got married as soon as the funeral was over. That it might please you to give quiet pass Through your dominions for this enterprise, On such regards of safety and allowance As therein are set down. Meantime, we thank you for your well-took labor.

Go to your rest. Voltemand and Cornelius enter, fresh from their Norwegian expedition. Turns out that Claudius is a successful diplomat; he has avoided war with Norway after all. Young Fortinbras—remember him from Act 1, Scene 1? Now Fortinbras has promised not to wage war against Denmark in order to take back the lands his dead father lost in a bet with Hamlet's dad. The King of Norway has forgiven his headstrong nephew, and has just one request of Claudius: that he allow Fortinbras to march through Denmark in order to attack Poland.

Claudius says he'll give that request some thought, but overall, this is good news, and he's pleased. My liege, and madam, to expostulate What majesty should be, what duty is, Why day is day, night night, and time is time 95 Were nothing but to waste night, day, and time. Therefore, since brevity is the soul of wit, And tediousness the limbs and outward flourishes, I will be brief. Your noble son is mad. But let that go. With that business out of the way, Polonius says he'll get right to the point.

It takes him eleven lines to say that he'll be brief, which leads Gertrude to say, "Out with it, already. Mad let us grant him then, and now remains That we find out the cause of this effect, Or, rather say, the cause of this defect, For this effect defective comes by cause. Thus it remains, and the remainder thus. I have a daughter have while she is mine Who, in her duty and obedience, mark, Hath given me this. Now gather and surmise. He reads. But you shall hear. Thus: He reads. I will be faithful. He reads the letter. O dear Ophelia, I am ill at these numbers. I have not art to reckon my groans, but that I love thee best, O most best, believe it.

Of course, getting to the point isn't exactly part of Polonius's skill set, but in another dozen lines he manages to get there. He informs Claudius and Gertrude that Hamlet has been driven mad by love for Ophelia. To prove his point, he reads some love letters that the Prince wrote about how sexy she is seriously—he mentions her "excellent white bosom".

But what might you think, When I had seen this hot love on the wing As I perceived it, I must tell you that, Before my daughter told me , what might you, Or my dear Majesty your queen here, think, If I had played the desk or table-book Or given my heart a winking, mute and dumb, Or looked upon this love with idle sight? What might you think? Claudius asks how Ophelia responded to Hamlet's letters and flirtations, and Polonius makes sure they understand that he acted properly, as always.

When he realized what was going on, he immediately told Ophelia that Hamlet, who is a prince, was out of her league and that she needed to shut him down. Of course, according to Polonius, this rejection by Ophelia led directly to Hamlet's mad behavior. Claudius asks Gertrude if she thinks this could be what's bugging Hamlet, and she says, "I suppose. If circumstances lead me, I will find Where truth is hid, though it were hid, indeed, Within the center. To the King. Be you and I behind an arras then. Mark the encounter.

Polonius has a plan to prove his theory is correct.

It involves Specifically, he plans to set up a meeting between Hamlet and Ophelia, in the location where Hamlet has taken to pacing for up to four hours at a time, and watch what happens. O, give me leave. When Hamlet enters reading a book, Polonius tells the King and Queen to skedaddle. He wants a chance to question Hamlet and get some more insight. They leave, and Polonius gets to work.

Hamlet, however, has his own ruse going, so he deliberately misunderstands Polonius's questions. Polonius asks if Hamlet recognizes him, and Hamlet replies he knows him as a "fishmonger" that's a guy who sells fish. When Polonius says he's not a fishmonger, Hamlet essentially says that's too bad. He wishes Polonius were as honest as a man selling fish. Maybe because a fishmonger is up to one thing, selling his wares, whereas Polonius is clearly scheming at the moment and not being straightforward with Hamlet.

To be honest, as this world goes, is to be one man picked out of ten thousand. Next, Hamlet moves on to a confusing bit about how the sun isn't particular about who it shines on. The sun, he says, is willing to "kiss" even a dog's rotting flesh. Okay, so Hamlet's pretty down on the world and also quite intent on confusing the bejeezus out of Polonius.

He changes subjects quickly by asking if Polonius has a daughter and then telling him to keep her out of the sun. Hamlet says that even though "conception," as in understanding, is a good thing, "conception," when it means getting pregnant, wouldn't be such a good thing for Ophelia. He's making fun of Polonius in two ways here: first, for not getting what's really going on, and second, for being crazy over-protective of his daughter. Still harping on my daughter. Yet he knew me not at first; he said I was a fishmonger.

He is far gone. And truly, in my youth, I suffered much extremity for love, very near this. Polonius, who continues to not get it, can only focus on the fact that Hamlet has mentioned Ophelia. He takes this as a sign that he's on the right track and that it is indeed Hamlet's love of Ophelia that is driving him mad. Polonius decides he has to continue engaging Hamlet, so he asks what Hamlet is reading. Hamlet's reply is both literal he is reading words, of course and suggestive of another meaning: Polonius.

He keeps coming at Hamlet with more words, words, words. HAMLET Slanders, sir; for the satirical rogue says here that old men have gray beards, that their faces are wrinkled, their eyes purging thick amber and plum-tree gum, and that they have a plentiful lack of wit, together with most weak hams; all which, sir, though I most powerfully and potently believe, yet I hold it not honesty to have it thus set down; for yourself, sir, shall grow old as I am, if, like a crab, you could go backward. Polonius delves deeper and asks Hamlet what the words are about. Hamlet says it's about how foolish and disgusting old men are.

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Hamlet says that while he agrees with the assessment a direct insult to Polonius , he doesn't think it's very nice that someone wrote it down. He adds that after all, Polonius would only be as old as Hamlet How pregnant sometimes his replies are! A happiness that often madness hits on, which reason and sanity could not so prosperously be delivered of.

I will leave him and suddenly contrive the means of meeting between him and my daughter. Polonius is beginning to see that Hamlet is speaking in double entendres—a suspicion that is confirmed when Hamlet says he'd like to walk out of the fresh air and straight into his grave. Still, Polonius doesn't fully understand what's going on here. He decides the best thing to do is to proceed with his plan to send Ophelia to talk to Hamlet and then spy on them to see what happens.

When Polonius offers to take leave of Hamlet, and Hamlet says there's nothing else Polonius could take that would make him happier, except, of course, his life. Polonius lets that one go, and as he leaves, Hamlet dismisses him as a tedious old fool. When Polonius says he's not a fishmonger, Hamlet essentially says that's too bad. He wishes Polonius were as honest as a man selling fish.

Maybe because a fishmonger is up to one thing, selling his wares, whereas Polonius is clearly scheming at the moment and not being straightforward with Hamlet. To be honest, as this world goes, is to be one man picked out of ten thousand.

The Messenger!

Next, Hamlet moves on to a confusing bit about how the sun isn't particular about who it shines on. The sun, he says, is willing to "kiss" even a dog's rotting flesh. Okay, so Hamlet's pretty down on the world and also quite intent on confusing the bejeezus out of Polonius. He changes subjects quickly by asking if Polonius has a daughter and then telling him to keep her out of the sun.

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Hamlet says that even though "conception," as in understanding, is a good thing, "conception," when it means getting pregnant, wouldn't be such a good thing for Ophelia. He's making fun of Polonius in two ways here: first, for not getting what's really going on, and second, for being crazy over-protective of his daughter. Still harping on my daughter. Yet he knew me not at first; he said I was a fishmonger. He is far gone. And truly, in my youth, I suffered much extremity for love, very near this.

Polonius, who continues to not get it, can only focus on the fact that Hamlet has mentioned Ophelia. He takes this as a sign that he's on the right track and that it is indeed Hamlet's love of Ophelia that is driving him mad. Polonius decides he has to continue engaging Hamlet, so he asks what Hamlet is reading. Hamlet's reply is both literal he is reading words, of course and suggestive of another meaning: Polonius. He keeps coming at Hamlet with more words, words, words.

HAMLET Slanders, sir; for the satirical rogue says here that old men have gray beards, that their faces are wrinkled, their eyes purging thick amber and plum-tree gum, and that they have a plentiful lack of wit, together with most weak hams; all which, sir, though I most powerfully and potently believe, yet I hold it not honesty to have it thus set down; for yourself, sir, shall grow old as I am, if, like a crab, you could go backward. Polonius delves deeper and asks Hamlet what the words are about. Hamlet says it's about how foolish and disgusting old men are. Hamlet says that while he agrees with the assessment a direct insult to Polonius , he doesn't think it's very nice that someone wrote it down.

He adds that after all, Polonius would only be as old as Hamlet How pregnant sometimes his replies are!

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A happiness that often madness hits on, which reason and sanity could not so prosperously be delivered of. I will leave him and suddenly contrive the means of meeting between him and my daughter. Polonius is beginning to see that Hamlet is speaking in double entendres—a suspicion that is confirmed when Hamlet says he'd like to walk out of the fresh air and straight into his grave. Still, Polonius doesn't fully understand what's going on here. He decides the best thing to do is to proceed with his plan to send Ophelia to talk to Hamlet and then spy on them to see what happens.

When Polonius offers to take leave of Hamlet, and Hamlet says there's nothing else Polonius could take that would make him happier, except, of course, his life. Polonius lets that one go, and as he leaves, Hamlet dismisses him as a tedious old fool. How dost thou, Guildenstern? Ah, Rosencrantz!

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Good lads, how do you both? O, most true! She is a strumpet. What news? Next up on the "What's wrong with Hamlet? These two start out okay, and Hamlet seems genuinely happy to see them. They even joke about being in Fortune's private parts, since they're not at the top of their luck which would be somewhere around the button in her cap or down and out which would put them at the soles of her shoes.

They're right in the middle, which, as Guidenstern points out, would be right around her "privates. But your news is not true. Let me question more in particular. What have you, my good friends, deserved at the hands of Fortune that she sends you to prison hither? To me, it is a prison. For, by my fay, I cannot reason. I will not sort you with the rest of my servants, for, to speak to you like an honest man, I am most dreadfully attended.

But, in the beaten way of friendship, what make you at Elsinore? Hamlet speaks pretty frankly with his friends, letting them know that he's unhappy and that he considers Denmark a prison. They try to console him, but Hamlet is a bit suspicious. He asks them what brought them to Elsinore, and they say they just wanted to visit him, nothing more. Were you not sent for? Is it a free visitation? Come, come, deal justly with me.

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Come, come; nay, speak. You were sent for, and there is a kind of confession in your looks which your modesties have not craft enough to color.

I know the good king and queen have sent for you. But let me conjure you by the rights of our fellowship, by the consonancy of our youth, by the obligation of our ever-preserved love, and by what more dear a better proposer can charge you withal: be even and direct with me whether you were sent for or no. Hamlet asks his buddies to come clean: they were sent for by the King and Queen, weren't they? Rosencrantz and Guildenstern try to avoid answering the question, but neither one of them has a very good poker face.

Eventually they admit it. Yes, they came because the King and Queen sent for them. What a piece of work is a man, how noble in reason, how infinite in faculties, in form and moving how express and admirable; in action how like an angel, in apprehension how like a god: the beauty of the world, the paragon of animals—and yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust? Man delights not me, no, nor women neither, though by your smiling you seem to say so. Hamlet says he'll save his buddies the trouble of spying on him and informing the King and Queen what's up. Here's the deal: he's depressed, everything sucks, and he takes no delight in either men or women.

We coted them on the way, and hither are they coming to offer you service. Rosencrantz has a bit of a giggle when Hamlet declared that men don't delight him, and Hamlet wants to know what's funny. Oh, it's just that there are a bunch of actors heading to the castle. Rosencrantz and Guildenstern passed them on their way there. What players are they? Their residence, both in reputation and profit, was better both ways. Hamlet expresses some interest in the actors and asks which troupe it is that's headed to the castle. Rosencrantz tells him it's the troupe he always enjoyed so much in the city, the ones who put on tragedies.

They have a good theater and a good reputation in the city. Seems like it would be more profitable for them to stay put. Are they so followed?

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These are now the fashion and so berattle the common stages so they call them that many wearing rapiers are afraid of goose quills and dare scarce come thither. How are they escoted? Will they pursue the quality no longer than they can sing? Will they not say afterwards, if they should grow themselves to common players as it is most like, if their means are no better , their writers do them wrong to make them exclaim against their own succession?

There was for a while no money bid for argument unless the poet and the player went to cuffs in the question. HAMLET It is not very strange; for my uncle is King of Denmark, and those that would make mouths at him while my father lived give twenty, forty, fifty, a hundred ducats apiece for his picture in little.


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Rosencrantz says the actors are likely on the road because of a recent innovation: children's plays. Plays with child actors were all the rage in England at this time, which forced theater troupes featuring adults to take their shows on the road. Shakespeare was on the side of the grown up actors, and is making a little jab at the children's plays, especially when Rosencrantz refers to child actors as "little eyases" or, little hawks. Shakespeare also takes the chance to make fun of the folks that support the children's plays in Elizabethan England by having Hamlet compare child-play supporters to the men that used to make stupid faces at his Uncle Claudius, and now pay big money for little pictures of him.

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